Should happiness be the ultimate goal in life?
You may think yes of course it should but hear me out……. Happiness should never be the goal!
I know you’re shocked “but of course we should strive for happiness in life”
But let me ask you…. What would it take to make you “happy” and will that continue to make you happy no matter what?
Sit with this example….. when you have more money, then you’ll be happy
When I meet my perfect partner, I’ll be happy
But what happens when your lifestyle changes to your level of income then you need more money?
What happens when your perfect relationships goes through conflict?
We’re always chasing happiness and oftentimes say we’ll be happy when………..
We’re basing our happiness on things outside of our control which can lead to disappointment.
I don’t believe the ultimate goal in life is to be happy, because life isn’t linear, we’re not able to be happy all of the time because life throws shit our way all the time that will knock us off our happiness pedestal.
However finding internal peace is where it’s at. Which means no matter what life throws at you you can be at peace with it with a knowing that life will inevitably have its ups and downs. It’s how you respond to those downs.
I always look at the negative things that have happened to me as a lesson, are they painful in the moment? Absolutely and it’s ok to grieve things grieving and allowing yourself to feel your emotions is so important. Toxic positivity has become so influential lately, making us feel guilty for being upset or having a “mental health” day because we need one (and you don’t need a reason to take a mental health day either) But we can work through and grow from our pain but also most importantly, learn from it.
Can you find some sort of peace in the mundane today? We get so caught up in our busy, fast paced lives we forget that there are some beautiful moments tucked into the mundanity of daily life. Can you be present driving in your commute and pay attention to how it feels to drive? Since most of us drive on autopilot and never know how we’ve arrived 😂 (we’ll that’s me any way)
Can you savour your morning coffee and really taste and smell it and enjoy it rather than sit sipping it while checking social media or emails?
Can we romanticise parts of our day a little so we’re finding moments of pleasure every single day, rather than waiting and striving for happiness to finally arrive in our lives because I can guarantee by adopting and choosing peace rather than searching for happiness, you will automatically become happier.
Much love and peace,
Melissa
]]>It's mad to think I have not yet met Larnia as I feel like we have bonded so well over social media! That is the power of social media, when you get on the good side of it. Friendships can be made, you can meet people you'd have never have crossed paths with in real life and find people you can connect with that you maybe otherwise wouldn't have. I have had to pleasure to have crossed this digital path with Larnia! She is one of the kindest most humble people I have met (well not in person yet!) And she has agreed to let me interview her for the blog so I can share her story (and her humour.) She is the founder of Ryde, a female led outdoor clothing brand with sustainability and kindness at the heart of everything she does. She is an inspiration to me and hopefully you will find inspiration too!
Tell me a little about yourself, what’s your background?
Larnia (Founder of Ryde)
My name is Larnia, founder of Ryde - without sounding like a job application, I like travelling, open water swimming, good food and cold draughts pulled in the sunshine. I am also self-motivated, can work independently or as part of a team.... 😂 just kidding.
How did you get into the outdoors?
I’ve always loved travelling and off-grid exploring. I grew up camping with family so that kind of stayed with me.
What’s your favourite outdoor activity?
Hiking is a solid favourite but I love open water swimming. In the last few years I really got into cold water swimming and the therapy side of things.
Who inspires you?
To be honest I’m inspired by people who try their best regardless of circumstance and don’t give up. To name a celebrity, I listen to a lot of Steven Bartlett’s podcast, I like that he decided to build something at a time when nobody else thought it would work and he didn’t lose faith along the way - that motivates me with Ryde. There’s so many people though I could talk about it all day!
What gets you out of bed on a morning?
Coffee ha. No I recently read a quote that resonated with me. It said if you flip your thinking from ‘urgh I have to get up’ to ‘I get to wake up’ then your whole perspective changes and it’s true, waking up and going to work is a luxury even if it doesn’t always feel like it.
Ultimate life goal?
I work two jobs at the moment so that I can build Ryde and provide high quality, sustainable clothing without the extreme price tag. I’d love to get to a point where all my focus can be on building a community that look out after one another - which is the exact reason I love Wild Wanderers.
What inspired you to create Ryde?
I think most ideas come from a need. I spend a lot of time outdoors and I wished I had certain clothing that did certain things. When I vocalised it people would be like ‘ me too!’ So I thought - ‘I’m going to make it.’
The most important reason though, was the chance to build a platform that not only cared about the products and sustainability but cared about the people wearing them. I give a lot of time to ‘customer service’ because customers are your whole brand and I think sometimes that’s forgotten.
What is Ryde all about?
I love the hardiness of the UK. We are that determined to be outdoors that we’ll BBQ in the rain and a gale force wind. That’s what our strap-line ‘Whatever The Weather’ is all about, clothing and accessories for whatever the weather, whatever the occasion.
Where do you see Ryde in 10 years?
My mission is to keep growing Ryde as a lifestyle and activewear brand built on community, warmth and wellbeing. As the brand grows, the bigger our sustainability offering too - I’m aiming for a zero waste business model.
Share an interesting fact about yourself?
I hate this question at networking events! I always freeze and look like the dullest person in the room haha. I’ve been vegetarian for 10 years is that interesting?! Probably not 😂
To learn more about Ryde check out the website click here and to find Ryde Store on instagram click here
If you enjoyed reading this, share it to your stories and tag @wild_wanderers_women
Got something you would like to share or an inspirational story to tell? To be considered as a future feature on the blog email admin@wildwandererswomen.com
Happy adventuring,
Melissa
]]>When you go into cold water your body goes under stress, if done regularly (at least once a week but up to 4 times a week is recommended), your body becomes used to being under stress. This inevitably leads to your body being able to cope with this reaction, therefore your everyday negative stress reactions diminish. Cold water is also good for the mind and ongoing research shows that it can slow the onset of dementia. For the body, the cold water gets the blood flowing around and can give your skin an afterglow and reduce the oils.
The rise of euphoria due to the increase of endorphins that you can get from being in cold water massively helps with low mood, anxiety and for me, if I have a headache or feel sick then the cold water is my medicine.
The afterdrop effect.. This is very important but unfortunately not spoke about enough. 15 minutes after getting out of cold water is when your body will feel the coldest. Due to your body going under stress and if exposed for too long then the negative stress symptoms can manifest, feeling sick, feeling like you are going to pass out and feeling extremely fatigued. This is normal and most cold water swimmers will have experienced this at least once. It is always best to be prepared if you are new to cold water swimming and having a flask of tea with sugar, a can of full sugar pop, chocolate or carbs will help. Also, going for a brisk walk or doing some star-jumps or burpees to get the blood flowing round your body again as it will be rushing to your core to keep you warm. If you are driving then you must pull over and the main thing is not to panic. This might sound scary but there are some actions that you can take to prevent the afterdrop, don’t stay in as long as experienced cold water swimmers do, don’t follow the guidelines of ‘stay in 1 minute per 1 degree of water temperature’.. this is not about pushing yourself, it’s about enjoying the experience, warm up properly afterwards and layer up.
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Wild camping is illegal in England, Wales, Northern Ireland and R.O.I; t is however tolerated in certain areas. Avoid private land unless you have previous permission granted from the landowners. Camp fires are also not permitted unless on private land with permission from the land owners. Wild Camping is legal in Scotland but please do your research where you are going as in some places it is not allowed. Campfires are also permitted in certain areas but please leave no trace… use a firepit that is off the ground that does not burn the ground, please dispose of any fire residue appropriately (collect the cooled cinders in a rubbish bag and put in the correct bin) and if using stones as a fireguard then spread these out after. The idea is to leave with no trace that you were ever there.
The best places to camp are up high, on a mountain. Most Tarns/bodies of water on a mountain are very popular for wild campers but can become extremely busy in the summer.
Winter Camping is a whole different level of wild camping than in the summer. The weather is a killer. Kit and knowledge is extremely important. If going winter wild camping you are putting yourself and the Mountain Rescue services in danger. I can only advise on the winter conditions that I have camped in. Two of the winter wild camps I have done when I started winter wild camping taught me valuable lessons, especially as I was camping solo. Helvellyn in the Lake District one winter there was 45mph winds and a sleet storm and Blencathra on New year’s eve, although perfect weather, it was -12degrees and the clouds came in so there was zero visibility. I knew both these mountains well and I felt ‘happy’ (a term I use lightly due to the change in weather that we can experience) that I could pack up my kit and get off the mountain if needed. I received a lot of advice from a mountaineering instructor on kit (that was within my budget) and actions to take if needed. A kit list and advice on winter camping is below, but please, if winter camping, be very careful and seek advice and understanding of the dangers.
In the summer I prefer to sleep without a tent so depending where I am camping I will use a hammock (with a midgie net), a hooped bivvy or just sleep on a mat and sometimes put a tarp over. I will just use my thermal liner with no sleeping bag and a cheap blow up camping mat.
Summer essentials… midgie spray and the midgie coils you can burn, factor 50 sun lotion, a cap, lots of water, firstaid kit, wipes and food bags, cook stuff and food, snacks, change of clothes, wild swimming gear (towel or microfibre changing robe and costume).
download your camping gear list here
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